Rememberance Day has come to mean much more than it once did; a time to remember and commemorate all those who gave their lives, their todays, for our tomorrows. A time for Poppy Appeal and for us to give to the Royal British Legion so that they can support those who have survived their service, yet suffer the consequences, most of which are unseen and why I’m sharing some of John’s story with you.
John served 28 years in The Royal Navy, taking part in all the major conflicts during that time. He told me many of the stories, two of which really stood out for me. Such as when he was in the Falklands War, on HMS Plymouth which suffered four direct hits from 1000lbs bombs, that wedged in her hull yet didn’t explode. For the next 24 hours the crew lived minute by minute in terror from death by explosion whilst under air attack and on fire, until they were able to disarm and recover the ship.
John also spent time as a UN Observer and had to dispose of decomposing open mass graves where villages were simply wiped out. Being unarmed, he only had his personality to exert as authority over the local machine gun wielding militia.
Exmouth, Strand, 2020
John McDermott Medals
All of this took a huge toll on John who had started to silently suffer with combat related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at a time when it was still regarded as inappropriate in the Military. It caused him to relive traumatic events, known as flashbacks, as if they were happening right there and then; to be hypervigilant always on alert for danger; with panic attacks that felt as if he were having heart attacks; along with sleeplessness, anxiety, depression. John goes into more detail in the above video called War Trauma - II A Natural reaction.
Evening Standard 2003 John McDermott Security Chief Old Bailey
On leaving the Royal Navy in 2000, John took up a job as Head of Security at the Old Bailey, the Central Criminal Courts in London. A high stressed job, particularly so after the 2001, 2005 and 2007 London bombings and where the terrorist cases were held, along with others such as Baby ‘P’. John was on duty 24/7 even when he wasn’t there. He became a leading light in the Security Industry setting the standards and paving the path for future developments.
By 2008 he found himself suffering from PTSD so much that he was unable to cope any longer and when he was subjected to an extreme and distressing situation, regarding divorce, it caused a massive PTSD attack where John fled, driving aimlessly for hours, distraught, not knowing who to turn to, or what to do and when he asked for help, I gave him refuge. He arrived with literally nothing, no change of clothes, no tooth brush or shaver, nor money; just what he stood in.
Even though we’d shared our traumatic histories with each other, and John explained his dreadful and devastating circumstances, I didn’t know what to expect as our contact had been purely online via the Saatchi art site where we were part of a group of artists planning a residency. When I saw him for the first time standing under a lamp post in the rain, I saw a survivor, someone who cared and loved, who’d given his all, but never received it in return. I’d never met him before and have no rational way of explaining that it was love at first sight for us both; incredible; unexpected; irrational - as we stood in the rain looking at each other, I knew from that moment I would stand by him no matter what, and I did, as he did with me. We hugged as though we’d known each other all our lives.
The situation he fled from was truly appalling and the following day he contacted the Royal British Legion Crisis help line (0808 802 8080) who came to the rescue with support, guidance and help. I witnessed first hand just how much they do for our service people, the dedication and care they gave was humbling. For the first time, in a very long time, John didn’t feel alone in an impossible situation. It choked him with emotion that they were there for him and helped him through what were extremely tough times. John believed his situation and circumstances were extraordinarily horrible, and those who worked for the Royal British Legion, were both experienced and very reassuring that those who served, were vulnerable to the same situations and lack of support that John experienced.
Express & Echo Rememberance Day 2009
John was so grateful for all the help he’d received from the Royal British Legion that two CIC’s (community interest companies) were created; Aftermath PTSD to raise funds for them and others as well as awareness and Art for Heroes to provide art workshops as respite for fellow sufferers. There are videos of John speaking about it on this link https://johnmcdermottartist.co.uk/video and he set about raising funds in 2009 appearing in The Express & Echo front page, and I provided all the background admin support he needed. I was so proud of him and all that he’d achieved, as despite what had happened and the appalling circumstances, he not only survived but thrived, following his dream of being an artist all day, every day, surrounded by love, care, nurturing, along with being able to give and help others. John raised thousands for the RBL, and helped many find respite with the use of Art. We had to set up a quiet room whenever he had an exhibition because people were so moved by the Art and often cried. We also spent a lot of our own money helping homeless veterans and putting them up in B&B’s during harsh weather and found ourselves being called out by the Ambulance Services for those who were feeling suicidal, even though we weren’t trained.
I’d like to take a moment to thank with all my heart all those who stood by me, my neighbours, friends, and those who I’d just met, yet were there for me, when John passed away in 2019. I was still too choked, shocked and traumatised by both his death and the events that followed it, to be able to pay my respects on Remembrance Day and found myself feeling very distressed that this year covid was stopping it again. This year I considered giving my respects alone until I connected with Exmouth Sand Artist Paul Burton. As most of the Remembrance events seemed cancelled, we’d planned to do something for everyone, but as things transpired and a 2nd lockdown was imminent, Paul simply did an iconic sand Poppy on Exmouth Beach in honour.
Sand art requires perfect conditions for it to be able to be done. The tide has to be low and at the right time, and the weather not windy, with no risk of rain on a level of sand that has the right amount of salt crystals to hold the shape of the design along with a spot where it can be seen above in it’s full glory.
Orcombe point in Exmouth became the location with the Geo Needle on the top of the cliffs providing the view. With all the recent storms it was going to be hit and miss and the most ideal day seemed 4th November 2020, the day before lockdown.
The fates were with us, it was a gorgeous day, wall to wall sunshine, with little wind and the sand just perfect. I had the honour and pleasure of watching and photographing Paul create the sand Poppy and witness the effect it had on everyone who happened to be there to see it. It was so uplifting in these dark times, I was in awe, everyone was in awe. People climbed the cliff to see the Poppy and take photos and everyone was smiling, including me and we were all thankful to have a chance to commemorate and be part of something marvellous and I cannot thank Paul enough for giving us the chance to honour and remember, especially me. I hope you’ll give Paul’s Facebook Page a like for being such a star and for what he did for us all that day and this is the link https://www.facebook.com/Paul-Burtons-Sand-Art-316912255129207/.
On 8th November 2020, Remembrance Sunday, around half a dozen cruise ships sounded their horns in the bay on the eleventh hour. A civil service took place at the Exmouth War Memorial, were Poppy wreaths were laid in honour of those who sacrificed and gave their lives. A lone Bagpiper, Duncan Nelmes also played the pipes which was part of John’s Scottish heritage, and he always loved to listened to them. For me, this year’s Remembrance was a most poignant, moving and uplifting tribute. A time when I could honour my Husband John McDermott, for all his sacrifices, his service to his Country, remembering our times together and all we did as well as honour all those who fought for the freedoms we can all now enjoy.
Times are extremely tough for many of us, yet as we’ve seen, it’s when we pull together, when we care for each other, that the best of of us all comes out. I hope that if you’re able, you’ll donate to the Royal British Legion on this link https://www.britishlegion.org.uk/get-involved/ways-to-give/donate for all the crucial and marvellous work they do in supporting our Military people.
In 2022 the Falkland Islands Museum will have their 2022 Commemoration when some of John’s major artworks will be exhibited and more information can be found on this link https://falklands-museum.com/fundraising
I’d like to give heartfelt and special thanks to Andrea Barlow, Director of the Falkland Islands Museum and National Trust and Steve Lewis, of Devon and Cornwall Royal British Legion.
Thank you, stay safe and well.
Anna xx
UPDATE: ITV News article ‘Remember the Fallen’ has mentioned this blog and can be viewed on this link: